Ever feel like the negative personal attacks from within social justice circles are getting more frequent or more harsh? Paraphrasing what I wrote in a previous newsletter, there has been a palpable uptick in attacking others, often publicly. I have unfortunately witnessed (and personally experienced) a rise in social justice academic hyper-critique with thinly veiled underlying messages of “you are not social justice perfect enough, you are the wrong social identity to work toward justice, you approach things slightly differently than me and therefore are anti-social justice and must be stopped!”



My previous article on "Naming toxic attacks from within" provides more information on the characteristics of supportive feedback, signs that you are dealing with toxic "feedback," and the not so great consequences of this trend.



When you feel like you need to provide some critical feedback, I wrote "Avoiding social justice cannibalism" to help you steer clear of toxic patterns.



A huge chuck of the faculty who come to me for coaching relay stories of having their character assassinated, experiencing severe bullying and mobbing, or worse. Perhaps you have been a witness; perhaps you have been the target. I offer some tips below for navigating your next steps as the target of harmful social justice cannibalism.



Step 1: Take a beat
(take back control from your amygdala)

Trust. You are going to feel some physical sensations that may push you into fight or flight mode. That rush of adrenaline and racing heart often leads to responding in the moment, off the cuff, and without any split-second to evaluate what is best for YOU. 



Take a beat. Put some time and space between the attack and your response. In fact, create the time and space so that you can even attempt to evaluate. When we respond in the immediate moment, we rob ourselves of the ability to evaluate. You know why? Because your amygdala is in charge, and you are reacting from a primal place of fear and survival. Don't let your amygdala drive this response train!!



Do as I say, not as I do. LOL! First to admit, I made mistakes responding immediately to social justice cannibalism. Middle/upper-class people may not be able to relate to this as much, but my social class cultural background makes the "take a beat" idea very difficult. But with practice, I am getting a little better at it over time (I hope). One thing I know is true- never have a I ever regretted taking a beat. But I have regrets connected to times when I failed to give myself the reflection space.



Step 2: Connect back to basics

This advice may sound stale since it all gets overused now. But still!! Connect back to your social justice values, in other words, your core soul values. Connect back to your own worth as being attacked can put a dent in even the strongest self-confidence armor. Connect back to your "why" in terms of why you do this work. Take stock of the amazing, time-consuming, emotional labor you do in service to justice. When you literally pull out your values poster or open the google slide where you typed it all out and read them aloud, the toxic behavior you are facing can get put into perspective real quick. 



Example: A senior faculty member I mentor received an email from a respected critical race scholar that accused him of greed and engaging in anti-racism for attention and acclaim. We walked through an exercise where he listed some anti-racism activist, scholarship, and teaching he felt made a difference. Then he marked which items where he gained zero funding and zero recognition. Let's just say 75% of his work was completed behind the scenes giving of himself with no expectations of praise. In other words, accusations can send us reeling unless we get back to basics and a concrete reality check. His actions simply did not support the accusations and attacks on his character.



Another way to say this is get yourself firmly grounded, back on solid ground, before you move on to planning a response.

Step 3: Evaluate your motivations for responding

If you feel compelled to respond ASAP, try this instead. Pull out a sheet of paper and write out a reaction that you will NOT send. Getting it out can help you process the emotional side of experiencing social justice cannibalism. Consider giving this 24 hours before returning to reread. You can look back at what you wrote and analyze it for motivations that may not have been obvious to you when you wrote it down.  



Do you see any of the following in your initial reaction response? 

• Defensive, attacking back, trying to gain approval, over-explaining, apologizing, thanking them for the feedback, minimizing your own worth, listing your activist credits to sound legit, putting power in the hands of the cannibal.

As a reminder, you encountered harmful behavior. We are not talking about someone coming to you with a reasonable and supportive feedback approach here. Please do not apologize or thank your abuser.



Maybe you just want everyone to like you



One of my strongest and immediate motivators (when my fear center was in 100% control) was wanting to be liked and approved as a social justice academic or as an ally (when the topic was within my own privileged identities). There is no shame in wanting to be liked and accepted. That's simply human. However, this deserves a warning. The motivation to be liked and accepted can result in us validating and empowering bullying behavior. 



Looking back at your values and priorities, which of them would best guide you in decided how to respond, if at all? News flash, you are not obligated to respond. You do not owe your time, emotional resources, psychological safety and resources, or anything else to someone's harmful behaviors. 



Step 4: Consult your invisible college

Whether you call this group of trusted and wise people your squad, community, peeps, fam, or dream team,you need them now. Not only can they help make it clear that the toxic feedback is not coming from a supportive place, but they will also lift you up if you are experiencing self-doubt. They can help heal the wounds. 



Beyond that, your academic support system can provide feedback about the pros and cons of possible responses (if any). At the same time, this decision must be yours and live squarely in your own gut. In other words, if what they say does not sit right with your own values and self-care priorities, stick to your instincts. 



Final thought

No matter if, when, and how you choose to respond to social justice cannibalism, the main focus should be your own mental health and well-being. We need you healthy to keep challenging systems of oppression. If you want to share your story, I would be honored to hear from you. We need to support each other through these moments.



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My Current Adventures!!

In the spirit of following my own damn advice, I am choosing my own adventures these days. Sharing a few here to maybe remind us all that we can embrace joy and maximize the best parts of life and career.

• Spending time with Taco Gato and Guster Demon being playful, cuddling and simply embracing all the purrs coming my way, and slowing down to truly take in the miracles that they are. After my December surgery, Taco's February surgery, and Guster's two March surgeries, things are finally starting to look hopeful on the health front! 

• This weekend (tomorrow), Mom and I are hosting a retreat for intersectional, feminist, social justice teacher-scholar-activists!! Our theme is all about "curating creative careers" and finding purpose and meaning within and beyond the current climate of higher education. Charlotte, NC here we come!

• Facilitating the Choose Your Own Adventure group-  This is the flow that gets me all jazzed and pumped up. Coaching faculty committing their lives to social justice is me living my best life. They are grappling with whether to leave academia, switch institutions, recraft their teaching approaches, and create the life that academia claims we can never achieve. Best time ever!

• Planning new courses for you!! You all asked, so I am going to create. How about some timely, affordable courses overflowing with examples and practical tips? Each course will be about 4 modules and not require a huge time commitment to complete. You can learn something and immediately apply to your career or teaching. As you can see from the image below and my sloth sketch book, our new patio is one of the places where I go to dream up something creative.

• Enjoying the new patio! We had our first party with karaoke 🎤, games, fajitas, and almost 30 friends to celebrate Kent's birthday 🎈. Fun even though it was quite chilly when the sun went down. 🌄

WHAT ARE YOU DOING THAT BRINGS YOU JOY?